I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
