Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
