She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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