Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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