I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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