I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
