I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
