We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Too much gin, very little bucket
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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