If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
