your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
