You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
