She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize