You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
