Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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