South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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