Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
