it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is my gift to your gina
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
