"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
