he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
