Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
