Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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