Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
