you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize