Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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