Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
