sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
