I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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