It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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