my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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