Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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