508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
