you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she peed on how many people?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
this hospital has no fireball
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
