The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
