i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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