i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
