so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
