On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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