omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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