fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
