my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
