I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
