Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
