dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
