I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
