She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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