I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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