i barfeds in our rink
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize