I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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