Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
