I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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