If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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