how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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