Sponge bath it is.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
