I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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