So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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