I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
