Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
