do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We are two peas in an std pod
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dick very happy bro
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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