I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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