This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
